Love || Hate

A hundred years ago (I was still pregnant with Julia, so, really, like 10 weeks ago) this little list was flying around the interwebs and I loved the idea. Thankfully, several lovely ladies included me in on the fun, and I'm just now getting around to it. Shout out to Beth :: Our Pretty Little Girls, Crystal :: Hall Around Texas, and Jamie :: Cocktails and Carseats for giving me a little blogging inspiration and some content to post today.

The idea is to post 10 things you love and 10 things you hate. Pretty simple, right? Let's get right to it.

The Loves
1. It should go without saying, I heart my family so much. They're a pretty awesome bunch of people, and I'm so dang lucky they're all mine.

2. A good run and/or a good weight session. Often getting out the door is the biggest hurdle. But dang, once it's all said and done - the best.

3. Sleep. Next to running, sleep is probably the best thing in the world. And, I never get enough of it.

4. A good book. What's better than being sucked in by a book? Not too much.

5. Being on/near/around water. An ocean, a lake, a river, a pool, I don't care. There's something so peaceful and calming about water. Give me all the water all the time.

6. The Midwest. More specifically, Iowa (the whole gosh darn state- give me all the corn fields) and Kansas (even more specifically, Kansas City). Those places are home base for me, and we can never spend too much time in either place.

7. Traveling. I follow a few travel accounts on InstaGram and I want to go EVERYWHERE. If only I had unlimited funds, and time to go everywhere I'd like...

8. Disneyland! Dole Whips, Screamin California, Dumbo, World of Color, It's a Small World, Cars Land, MICKEY. Yes, it really is the happiest place on earth.

9. On-line shopping. Seriously, who has the time or patience to actually GO places to shop (aside from Target)?!

10. Sunrises and sunsets. What's not to love about Mother Nature using the sky as the most perfect canvas?

Hate is a pretty strong word, so this is really more a list of things that really irritate me, and/or make the list of pet peeves.

The Top Irritants and Pet Peeves (in no particular order, because they are all so annoying)
1. Terrible drivers. I've basically declared I'm the best driver ever. If you don't use a turn signal, don't go the speed limit (which is automatically 5 over the posted speed limit - duh), drive slow in the left lane, or don't know to turn right on red (unless signage states otherwise), I will be cursing you out and likely honking my horn. May it be noted, living in L.A. has not helped with my patience on this issue...

2. People who dominate conversations. I love to listen, but I'd also like to partake in the discussion you're having with... yourself.

3. The smacking of food and gum. OH. MY. GOSH. CLOSE THE MOUTH!

4. Flossing in public. No. Just. No. Go to a bathroom. I do not want to see any person digging remnants of dinner from between their teeth. So gross.

5. Caillou. Who's with me on starting a petition to get that whiny kid off PBS? Also, Sheriff Callie kind of annoys me, too.

6. My college football team (Go Cyclones) and their never-ending ability to lose. While I'm used to the fact that we don't win, pretty much ever, it still blows. It'd be nice, really nice, to have a solid team to cheer on just once.

7. Shonda Rhimes took McDreamy off Grey's. WHY? JUST WHY?!

8. The sound of someone chewing/eating, especially if I'm not eating, too. It basically makes my ears bleed.

9. Play doh. At first I didn't mind the stuff being played with. But now? Now when the suggestion is made to play with it I cringe. Little pieces end up everywhere, only to be found days (weeks? months?) later. Not to mention, those toys that you squeeze the doh through? Never. ending. clean up. And the colors being squished together? Oh my gosh, make it stop.

10.  Cleaning up after my dog - he's roughly the size of a horse. I'll just leave it at that....

There you have it. Ten things I love, and 10 things that basically drive me bonkers.

Pumpkin Picking

Every year we go to the pumpkin patch I go with these grand images in my head about how amazing and special and perfect the experience will be. Then we get to the 'farm' and it's always slightly less than what I envisioned.

This year we went only to find we'd chosen the second busiest weekend of the year. The place was swarming with people. It was pure craziness.

Upon entering we immediately hit up the wagon ride where we took a trip around the farm and watched a pumpkin shoot out of a cannon. I thought it was the coolest thing, Marcus found it to be just meh.

A quick trip through the petting zoo where Marcus pet exactly one goat and one sheep and called it good.

We sped through other obligatory pumpkin patch check list items.

The "How Tall This Fall" measurement... check.
The back of a wagon.... check.
The inside of a tractor cabin... check.
A quick run through a hay bale maze... check.

We decided to skip the corn maze. Marcus wanted to pick pumpkins like a fat kid wants a piece of cake, and Julia was more interested in eating and snoozing. There's always next year to get lost among the corn, I suppose.

Then we were off to the main event. Pumpkins of course!

Grandma was along for the fun, so she, Marcus, and Scott went on the hunt for the most perfect pumpkins in all the patch. Julia and I hung out along side the rows of pumpkins and watched from afar.

Between pumpkin picking and wheelbarrow riding, Marcus was having a grand old time. 

I did managed to snag these little gems.

I really need to get Marcus to ease up on his "cheese" game, and Julia, poor girl had no idea what the heck was going on.

Naturally I made the four of us pose in the patch. The trip didn't happen if a family photo isn't taken.

Five pumpkins, and one hour from start to finish, later, our pumpkin fun was done.

Though we hastily made our way through the patch, and the experience was slightly lacking, we still found some pretty legit pumpkins that are nearly as big as Marcus.

That evening during night time prayers when we asked Marcus what he was most thankful for he chose pumpkin picking. So, I suppose in his little world our trip to the patch really was everything it was meant to be and more.

M & J Monday

In nine weeks only two photos have been taken of our family of four. This weekend it was decided that needed to change. So, today is more of a Macke Family Monday than just a Marcus and Julia Monday.

Oh Marcus, your "cheese" face is oh so subtle.

Happy Monday!

The Super Quick Edition

Longest week, ever. No? Just me? Why are four-day work weeks THE longest? Gah. Thank goodness we've made it to Friday.

Let's get to business.

1. Grandma is in town!

Extra hands, extra snuggles, lots of love. Pretty good set up we have going into the weekend if I do say so myself.

2. These guys.

Loved the ALDS series, and we're headed into tonight's game with lots of hope. We'll be cheering our hearts out for the boys in blue.

3. This mouse.

We may have missed Mickey's Halloween Party two weeks ago, but I'm seriously (as in, totally planning) on playing preschool hooky this Monday to go see the mouse. I think a good dose of Disney will do us all some good.

Not so much a highlight: Julia has her two month shots today. Asking for good vibes that we all make it out of that unscathed.

Have a great weekend!

October || A Month to Remember

October brings us a whole host of goodness: the coveted PSL, all the things pumpkin, the orchards, and patches, and boots, and scarves, and everything fall-ish in between.

October is also a month that is pretty important to so many people, for entirely different, personal, and no doubt very painful reasons.

This month is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Though I haven't personally experienced a pregnancy or infant loss, several people who are very close to me have, and their stories have resonated with me deeply.

Before I was born my mom had a daughter. Her name was Mikaela, and she was born on August 8 (just one day after Julia's birthday). Mikaela had Potter's Syndrome. For one day my parents were able to hold their daughter, kiss her face, and fiercely love their daughter before she passed away.

Another very important person in my life who has been dealt more than her share of pain and loss is my very best friend, Amy... But, I'll let her tell you her story.

This was originally published October 2, 2015, on Amy's blog.

Today my best friend in the whole world celebrates her 5-Year wedding anniversary. While she looks back and remembers all the beautiful friends and family gathered around her, laughing, drinking, celebrating...


I remember standing in the stall of a hotel bathroom, wadding up my chiffon bridesmaid dress and injecting a 1 1/2 inch needle into my butt.
The needle is thick too. It has to be because I was injecting progesterone in oil, a hormone that is often prescribed for women suffering from recurrent pregnancy loss. I nicked a vein, as you sometimes can, and when I pulled the needle out, a fountain of blood squirted out in it's wake. Being prepared for this exact moment, I had a wad of toilet paper tucked into the waistband of my Spanx and was able to put pressure on the bleed right away. I slapped on a bandaid, yanked up my Spanx...and went back out into the party.

Game. Face. On.

A Game Face is a vital necessity when you're living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss and infertility. You see, three days prior to this...I was living in hell. My husband, Kevin and I had just found out we were pregnant...with twins. Exciting times for most, but scary as hell for us. This was pregnancy number three for us. I had suffered two miscarriages prior to this day. Miscarriage one at 12 weeks, miscarriage 2 at 12 weeks 2 day. Miscarriage two began on the due date of Pregnancy 1.

Life was funny like that.

At barely six weeks pregnant, I was cramping so badly I swore I had internal bleeding. Several ultrasounds and an ER visit later, my doctor informed me that he wasn't sure what was going on but that we should NOT attend this wedding five hours away in Kansas City. "But it's my best friend! I'm the maid of honor!" I cried to him, sitting inside a dingy ER exam room. I was literally bleeding all over myself at the time because for whatever reason, ER's don't ever want you wearing clothes beneath your hospital gowns. He gave me those sad, sympathetic doctor eyes but remained firm on his position. Kevin and I got in the car and before the door was shut I was yelling, "There is no way in hell I'm missing DJ's wedding, Kevin. No way!" DJ has been my best friend since we were babies. I convinced her to stick a popcorn seed up her nose in Kindergarden and we've been thick as thieves ever since. Thankfully, Kevin completely understood. He's is good like that. So my doctor wrote me a prescription for pregnancy safe pain medicine, handed us my HUGE medical record, and wrote down a list of all the nearest hospitals in KC. We were preparing for the worst to happen while we were there.

I would likely miscarry.

Most people probably look at me and think...are you crazy? Stay home! Lay down! Keep your babies safe! But when you're living in the world of recurrent pregnancy loss...life doesn't stop. If I would have skipped out on every special event or evening out because I "might miscarry" or I "might be pregnant" ... I would have been even more miserable than I already was. And guys...I was pretty freaking miserable. It took us three years to get pregnant the first time and then I got the double whammy of being diagnosed a "habitual aborter"...at least, that's what my medical records call recurrent miscarriage.

This is where the game face comes in.

It's party time, remember? My best friend is marrying the love of her life! So we dance, and we laugh, and we fake drink the night away...because the last thing I want to do is tell everyone I'm pregnant with twins but probably going to lose them before I get home. That's the life of a Habitual Aborter. You mask the bad with the good. You perfect your Game Face. Because there's no handicaps in the world of infertility and miscarriage. Every stroke is yours. Every bogey is recorded. And there's no best ball.

Thankfully, I made it through the wedding, but I later lost both those beautiful babies. It wasn't in Kansas City though. Baby A passed away around 9 weeks and Baby B literally fell into my hands over a toilet bowl in labor and delivery at 14 weeks pregnant.

But here's the funny thing...the real kicker...

Today, when my bestie posts a beautiful blog spread, celebrating her amazing day...it doesn't make me sad at all. It doesn't make me mourn the loss of those babies. It makes me feel closer to those precious lives I lost. It makes me feel like I shared one of the most beautiful memories with them. They were with me...inside of me...when I watched my best friend walk down the isle.

They were with me then...

They are with me now...

And they certainly are with this little miracle that I ate fruit loops with in bed this morning.

My point is...regardless of the bad...regardless of the sad...regardless of the horrid memories we all walk around with...it's all shaping us into who we are. You just have to put on your game face, and get back in there. Because shooting for that big WIN is what makes memories worth keeping.

---

Amy Daws lives in South Dakota with her husband, and miracle daughter, Lorelei. The long-awaited birth of Lorelei is what inspired Amy's first book, a memoir called Chasing Hope, and her passion for writing. Amy is a lover of all things British and her award-nominated romantic comedy series, The London Lovers Series, is centered around Americans in London. It's emotional and self-deprecating with lots of humor sprinkled in. On most nights, you can find Amy and her family dancing to Strawberry Shortcake's theme song or stuffing themselves inside children's-sized playhouses because there is nothing they wouldn't do for their little miracle.

For more of Amy's work, visit: http://www.amydawsauthor.com

M & J Monday

One fish, two fish.

Pink fish, blue fish.

Happy Monday!

The Snap Edition

This last week sure was a doozy. It all started with Marcus getting a nasty stomach bug last Friday, and the sickness lasted the entire weekend. It essentially botched all the fun plans we had. Said plans were to have included apple picking, pumpkin parching, and Mickey's Halloween Party. Guys, we missed Mickey's Party (and ate the cost of the not so cheap tickets)! Cue all the tears.  #thankspreschool

Even though it seems the Fall Bucket List might fall short of completion this year there was still a whole lot of good to be had last week. 

1. Snapchat.

I've had the app for quite a while, but I rarely never used it. To be honest, I didn't really get it. I felt too old for it. But, thanks to a group of blogger friends I'm a believer and I'm hooked. It's real time, it's raw, and it's unedited (unlike IG, where there seems to be pressure to have every picture perfect). You can follow along with me :: desireemacke (Fair warning, it's nothing riving, and it's a lot of day-to-day life stuff.) 

2. This dress.

dress

I may or may not have purchased the dress with the idea of a 1st birthday party in mind... Even if a birthday party isn't born from this dress's inspiration it will still be cute when it's on.

3. This boy.

Last week our date to The Cube was pretty outstanding (and thankfully we got that trip in before the stomach bug took hold). So, today I figured we'd have some more fun and make a trip to the Science Center. Should be a good Marcus and Mommy day, and Julia will be along for the ride.

4. This little sleeper.

Julia's night time sleep game has been on point. For the last week or so she's averaged 7 hours per night, with one nightly nursing session. It's been such a dream to have a good sleeper in the house. Here's to hoping the little lady can keep it up.

5. These Energy Bites.

I've shared these before, but I had to share again.
These delicious, healthy little nuggets have been my saving grace for the past few weeks. Between Marcus and me, we can consume a batch in lightning speed. He loves them, and I love that it's a great snack, and he in none the wiser. Here's the recipe:
1 cup old fashioned oats
1/2 cup ground flax seed
1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
2/3 cup shredded coconut (if you don't like coconut you can always leave it out and add an extra 2/3 cup oats)
1 Tbsp ground chia seeds
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup peanut butter
1/3 cup honey
Mix all ingredients together well. Using a small scoop make bite-size balls (approximately 1 Tbsp). Allow to set in refrigerator for an hour. I keep mine in the fridge as they do tend to get soft if they're left out for too long.

Have a great weekend! 

Julia || 2 Months

Goodness. It doesn't seem possible another month has slipped by us. But, alas, it's true, month number two came with lightning speed. Last week I packed away all the newborn clothes along with my denial that you will forever remain our tiny little peanut. 

Julia, it's so amazing to see you transforming out of that sleepy newborn phase. You are becoming more and more alert, you are awake so much more, and your little personality is starting to come through.

Little lady, you do. not. miss. a. meal. Ever. You have become a champion at nursing. In fact, I think that's your most favorite thing in the whole wide world. If you had it your way we'd snuggle on the couch and nurse all the live long day. You will take a bottle if absolutely necessary, but it is clear it's not your first choice. 

Sleep. Oh, girly. I can say that you are much better at the sleeping gig than your big brother (he's still not the greatest in this department). It took us almost six solid weeks to get your nights and days switched, but let me tell you, once you figured it out you've been a wonder. You've been sleeping in your crib since day one, and don't seem to have any issues in there. Lately you've been going down for the night around 10PM - though we desperately try to get you to sleep by 7:30PM (you snooze for about 45 minutes and then want to party with your dad and me for a couple of hours) - and you wake around 4:00AM to nurse. We've even had a couple of nights where you've slept for 7 and 8 hours. On a stellar night you'll nurse for about 20 minutes and go back down with no problem. And, you're typically up in the morning around 7:00AM. Keep it up - momma likes her sleep!

Your naps are all over the place, and often quiet short, but I'm really trying to get you to take a consistent afternoon nap. 

I'm pretty certain your favorite place to be is in someones arms. You don't particularly love the swing or the rock and play. Occasionally you'll play on your floor gym/mat thingy for 5-10 minutes. But, being held is your favorite, and I can't say I hate it. 

Your starting to find your voice (other than crying), and it is probably the most adorable thing ever. Often I'll chat with you, and you'll coo back at me, as if we're carrying on a regular old conversation. 

If I had to guess, I'd say you're going to have a flair for the dramatics. If you are woken and don't want to be up, or if you're placed in your car seat and want nothing to do with it, oh boy do you get mad. Just yesterday you were woken from what must have been a dreamy slumber, and when you awoke you gave the biggest show, complete with crocodile tears and all. 

Your smile has been spotted, but you're really stingy with sharing them. When you do flash that gummy, adorable grin it looks as if you're keeping a secret. I can't wait for more of those smiles. I'm wondering if you'll be as serious as your big brother was when he was this age (he was SUCH a serious baby - we heard about it all the time from everyone).

Little lady, you're pretty amazing. Though you've only been around for a couple of months it seems as if you've been in our lives and hearts forever. 

Love you to the moon and back. Twice.

~Mommy

Stats

Diapers || Pampers Swaddlers, size 1

Clothes || 0-3 month

Length || 23 inches

Weight || The scale at home says 12 pounds - I refuse to believe it. We have a doctor's appointment in a couple of weeks to determine your official height and weight.

Update: weight - 12 pounds 6 ounces - whaaaaat?! 

Hot Wheels Heaven

We are no strangers to The Cube. Marcus loves the place, and frequently asks to go. I love the place because Marcus can be hands on all the time, and I never have to say, "No, don't touch." Not to mention, he's learning through play, and that's something I can get behind all day every day.

When I saw The Cube had Hot Wheels as it's latest exhibit there was no question we needed to make a trip to our favorite science center.

The pictures don't do even the slightest bit justice of just how freaking incredible this was (the wonky lighting didn't help, either). It was every little boys (and likely girls) dream. An open, HUGE room filled with nothing but Hot Wheels fun. Yep, my kid will have all of that, please and thank you.

Please excuse my (poor quality, iPhone only - I didn't even think to bring the 'good camera') photo dump. But, seriously, it was the best time ever.

This was just one of the several different ramp/track stations.

The orange ramps could be moved up or down to change the height of the jump of the cars.

This video of the race ramp was a fan favorite with all the kids. I bet we came back to this station no less than 27 times.

Marcus was able to get behind the wheel and drive around several different race tracks (Indy, NASCAR, Grand Prix). I have no idea where Marcus picked it up (because Scott nor I has ever expressed interest in NASCAR), but Marcus is in love with NASCAR. This was clearly a hit.

But this, this took the cake of all the things Marcus could get his hands on. It was a mock pit crew tire changing station. 

I mean, the tires were screwed off, the wheels came off, the tires changed out, and screwed back on. HOW COOL?!

We spent over an hour and a half JUST at this exhibit - that's how much Marcus enjoyed it all. We barely touched the rest of The Cube.

While Marcus was soaking up all the fun, I was soaking up our time together. Julia came along for the ride, but she spent 90% of our three hours at the science center sleeping.

It was so good to get out and give Marcus the special attention I know we both desperately needed.

Until next time, Cube!

M & J Monday

I might not have used my good camera, they might still be in their pjs (at least Marcus is), our couch and the Boppy might not make for the best of backgrounds, the picture might be a little grainy, and the color is a little off...

...But it's pretty much perfect.

Happy Monday!

The 5 Year Anniversary Edition

Five years ago today I said, "I do," to the most loyal, loving, compassionate, honest, amazing man. It doesn't seem like five years has passed, but at the same time it seems like we've spent a lifetime together, dreaming, building, and creating this life of ours.

In honor of those five spectacular years here are five of my favorite photos from that beautifully perfect day (side note: have any idea how hard it is to select just FIVE favorites from your wedding day?!).

1. My favorite from the ceremony...

I had this picture blown up to a 16x20 print and it hangs in our entry. There's just something about the lighting, the cross, the aisle lined with maple leaves, and us at the alter that moves me every time I look at it.

2. My favorite with a prop...

My dad's Model A was so much fun to be photographed with.

3. My favorite posed photo...

We actually used this on our Christmas cards the year we were married.

4. My favorite from the J. C. Nichols fountain...

This photo pretty much sums up our relationship on a daily basis. 

5. My favorite group photo...

So many of our favorite people all together.

6. (Bonus - see, I couldn't pick just 5!) My favorite of 'my girls' and me...

Scott, cheers to five years, and a lifetime more of memories, laughter, joy and love to come. I love you!

Have a fabulous weekend!