Forgiving

I juggled with whether or not to post this. It was a tough one to write. Tough because it isn't shiny and pretty. Often it seems we focus on how perfect things are and we leave out some of the real stuff. I went on a bit of a tangent not that long ago. You can read about it {here}.

Here's today's big dose of real...

Two nights ago Scott and I had a rather intense, and stupid, fight argument. Who was going to bring the dog bed to our room at the end of the night. What, that's not worthy of a good fight?!

Being the stubborn, hard-headed Dudding I am, I made a big stink about it. I'm talking full-fledged fuss. Looking back, I'm not really sure why I carried on in such a way. I just didn't want to carry that dog bed to our room. So dumb, right?

As we both laid in bed I knew I had to apologize. However, a simple "I'm sorry," wasn't going to cut it.  I'd unnecessarily crossed a line and "sorry" wasn't going to do.

Let's quickly rewind to a few years back during our marriage prep class:
During the class our instructors were going over forgiveness, and how easy it is to say "I'm sorry."
How many times growing up did your parents make you tell a sibling you were sorry? Mine did a thousand and two times (at least). More often than not an empty "Sorry," was mumbled. In reality, I wasn't sorry, I was just going through the motions. Saying what needed to be said. How many times were you asked "Do you even know why you're sorry?" and had no answer? 
What good is an empty "sorry"?

During the prep class our instructors (a married couple) told us how they would ask each other for forgiveness when conversations became heated, or actions didn't necessarily seem too thoughtful or loving.

Scott and I have implemented this in our own marriage. And, it's tough. You really have to own up to your mistake(s). Asking someone to forgive you for your faults and shortcomings takes a lot. Admitting your wrongdoings is downright hard.

I was about to fall asleep, but I had to do it, I had to ask him to forgive me for going so far out of line. Swallowing my stubbornness pride, I quietly asked him to forgive me for getting so upset for no apparent reason. And, he did.

Sometimes it's possible to forgive right away, other times we need some time to reflect, and forgive when we are ready. Asking for forgiveness takes a lot, but receiving forgiveness beats out an empty "sorry" any day of the week.

The next time "I'm sorry" seems too easy challenge yourself to ask for forgiveness instead.

Yep, this seems appropriate for this post.

In shinier, prettier news... There is still time to enter the custom infant/toddler/children's jacket.

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