Adjustment & Transition

Now that we are a solid nine (!) weeks into being a family of four I thought I'd do a little reflecting on how well we are all adjusting - primarily Marcus, as everyone seems to ask how the big brother is doing.
When Julia arrived Marcus came up to the hospital and was naturally very intrigued with her. He wanted to hold his baby sister, give her lots of hugs, and lots of kisses. He was very good about being gentle with her, and my heart burst into a million tiny pieces when I saw both my babies together.
The first two weeks home with Julia are kind of blurry, but Marcus seemed to transition with much more ease than I anticipated. We also had grandparents around during those weeks to shower everyone with lots of love and attention.
It wasn't until after the grandparents had packed their bags that I noticed Marcus struggled a bit with no longer being the only child. You see, the first week Julia was home (and the grandparents were around) Marcus started preschool. That first week he had no problems saying good-bye to me at drop off. But, the second week (when the grandparents had all gone home) there was lots of clinging to my leg, crying and begging me not to go. And my heart fell to my stomach each and every time.
Marcus wasn't getting as much attention as when grandmas and grandpas were around, and I knew that was the problem behind our issue. Thanks to a day date of bowling with just Marcus and Mommy I think that helped ease my little man's mind that I wasn't going anywhere. Luckily, preschool drop offs are now no big deal (for either of us).
 There have been occasional, epic outbursts and tantrums that I've never dealt with before. Think: Marcus throwing his entire body onto the grocery store floor and screaming and crying, all the while I'm desperately pleading for him to stop, get up, and keep it moving. I'm not sure if that meltdown was totally a transition issue, or in part to the monster 'threenager' coming through. I'm going to guess a good combination of both.
 Only a handful of times (so far) has Marcus displayed being jealous of the attention given to Julia. And it's primarily with Scott. If I had to guess, it's because Marcus is with me most of the time, and sees me with Julia so often. With Scott working their time together is less, and seeing Scott dedicate time to Julia has occasionally brought about spells of jealousy. Thankfully, those moments have been few and far between.
As far as Marcus interacting with Julia, I am so blown away with his gentle nature and loving ways. My sweet little boy is always, always, always asking to hug "his baby," and kiss "his baby," and hold "his baby." I am amazed at his gentle little soul, and I hope and pray that never changes as they grow older.
Marcus is truly the best big brother, and I hope one day Julia notices how much he dotes on her and loves on her. It's something magical to see, and Julia is one lucky little lady.
As for Scott and me, we're doing the whole parents-of-two one day at a time. It seems that's the only way it can be done. Most days I survive on winging it and prayer. Lots and lots and lots of prayer. My patience is tested daily (hourly? minute by minute?). And, many nights I lie in bed with tears streaming down my cheeks, thanking the Lord for my abundant blessings. I also pray for more patience, better parenting abilities, and sleep, always more sleep.
Only nine weeks into this gig and it's been a pretty awesome, crazy, ride. But, it's been oh so worth all the adjustments and transitions. Our family wasn't complete until Julia arrived, and we're all in this together.
So, to sum it up - just how are we all adjusting and transitioning? I'd have to say pretty darn well. Not every day is easy - nor did I expect it to be - but every day is full of laughter and lots of love. And, if that's the side effect of adding another little miracle to our family I'll take that all day, every day.


  1. I'd say you're adjusting awesome from this post! Not that it isn't hard or lots to learn but adjustments sound so managable! That's so awesome how gentle Marcus is with his sister! And tantrums... oh threeangers! No way to know which it is. The first few weeks of school Callie had a lot more tantrums - maybe just over tired as they adjust to a new schedule? You sure have some sweet photos of these two! and sleep helps everyone hope you're getting some!

  2. This is so great! Love this post!

  3. Seems all pretty normal to me! Jealousy is bound to happen, especially when he is used to being with you alone all the time! But it sounds like everything is going great...so glad to hear! Keep up the good work mama!

  4. I loved reading your story! It reminds me of when my boys were that little. It is so sweet to see your babies interact. It sounds like Marcus is a sweet big brother. Hang in there. You will get more sleep eventually:)

  5. 1) Julia's sailor outift. Dead.
    2) Marcus in the stroller. He looks so grown up!
    3) From the sounds of the temper tantrum, "threenager" is a thing. I'll pray you have abundant of mama patience, and lots of wine :)

  6. I'm so glad to hear things are going so well. Henry was about the exact same age when Wesley came along, and I remember feeling guilt more on my end and he seemed to be doing pretty well. So glad you're all adjusting!

  7. I know its been 9 weeks, but in that small window of time, both your babies have grown so much! Marcus's face is less "baby", or an I just seeing things? This sounds about right! Those tantrums I will never forget ;)

  8. Go Marcis! It's such a big transition. I think big brothers are just wired to be gentle and protective. Cam yelled at a lady in the preschool line who tried to touch Emmy when she was really little. I was so embarrassed but so proud too. Ha ha!

  9. It seems like the Macke family & Marcus are adjusting to Julia and a new family of 4 quite well. The pictures of Marcus & "his baby" Julia are so precious- heart warming & melting for sure!

  10. It sounds like things are going really well! The tantrums are never fun, but hopefully he keeps those at a minimum for you.

  11. When we saw you guys on my birthday, I thought you both were rocking the parents of two thing! Sometimes I wonder how I can go with just Mason somewhere without having a meltdown myself and you're taking TWO kids some places! You are a rockstar!
    Love love love the pictures of the two of them together!

  12. SO awesome to hear how everything is going. I think the shock of it all sometimes makes the initial transition easy only to get a bit harder after the first month or so. What a champ he has been. So many big changes he had done awesome. Plus we all have our off days they hopefully are just a bit less dramatic when we are older ;).

  13. Thank you, thank you for this post! Everything that you wrote sounds SO similar to ours. Reese often calls Charlotte 'her baby' and loves to give her hugs and kisses, but we've had some acting out too (hitting, kicking). Thankfully no tantrums yet, but it has definitely been an adjustment. Sometimes I feel so guilty that I can't give Reese attention when I have to tend to Charlotte. I'm glad everyone is adjusting ok - parenting 2 kids (especially during the 2 and 3 year old years) is hard!