You guys, this weekend I spent six hours - SIX! - standing in a preschool registration line. PRESCHOOL!
It sounds crazy, yes, I know. But when you learn there are only 10 openings for the school that you desperately want your child to attend, you stand in line for hours and hours and hours. You wake up at 4:15, send your husband off to be in line by 5:00AM, and relieve him by 6:00. If it means four half days of school at a price that is half the cost of any other school, yet double the amount of days, you suck it up and you forfeit your Saturday morning.
If I had to compare preschool registration to anything it'd be Black Friday. You wake up at an hour so ungodly even the nocturnal animals are calling you a fool, you're lucky if your washed your face, or combed your hair, or brushed your teeth, to make damn sure you get exactly what you want and need. The similarities between the two events are uncanny. Am I right, or am I right?
I mean, we were up so dang early we caught the lunar eclipse. Anyone else see it? If you weren't up before 5:00 you likely missed it. I guess there are more perks than just preschool enrollment…
The total upside to such an outrageous weekend alarm, and a morning spent waiting, is that my child was successfully enrolled, and will be on his merry way to preschool come August 18 (which just so conveniently happens to be four days after my due date, so that's fun).
Aside from learning we as parents will go to great lengths to ensure our children receive what we think is best for them, I also learned some valuable tips and pointers while waiting in line with a handful of strangers for six hours…
1. If you know you're going to be in line for an eternity bring a tailgating chair. Seriously. I only have one chair, and it's for my happy butt to sit in.
2. Do not tell horror stories of your older children's preschool experiences. I am blissfully ignorant, and believe my child's experience will be nothing short of rainbows and unicorns. Keep those nasty stories to yourself. I'm certain I will deal with my own in due time.
3. If it's 8:00AM and we've been idly chatting for a few hours, and you see I've leaned my head back in my chair, and my eyes are closed, it means I really, really just want some quite time. And maybe a few minutes of sleep. My need for conversation has been reduced to negative zero. Stop talking.
4. If I've flipped open my trashy Us magazine that also means my ability to communicate has been compromised - by lack of sleep and coffee - and I simply cannot continue talking. Please, for the love of the ABCs and 1,2,3s, give me some quiet.
5. If you've arrived a few minutes prior to sign up, and you've had your shower and your six cups of coffee, please do not come at me with a ball of energy. You're lucky I washed my face, combed my hair, and brushed my teeth. I'm silently cursing you for being totally put together, and cursing you even more for knowing you didn't wait in line all morning, and will still get your child enrolled.
6. I know we will be seeing a lot of each other for the next couple years. Please do not mistake my silence or lack of conversation as being rude. Rather, accept that I'm tired, hungry, pregnant, and just want to go home already. I promise I'll be all sorts of Social Sally when you see me in the preschool pick up line.
Any tips I missed for standing in line for hours on end with strangers??
P.S. Did you enter the Starbucks giveaway yesterday? If not, be sure to head HERE and enter!