Why I Won't Wait the Full 40
Each pregnancy is so personal, so different, so unique. From when and how an expectant mother announces her pregnancy, all the way to delivery day, it's all such an individual process. As with any pregnancy, every expectant mother has her ideals and beliefs of what is right and best.
With Marcus I had no choice as to how he would be delivered. Little Man was breech for most of my pregnancy. Though I tried every. single. thing. under the sun to get him to flip (chiropractic treatments and a failed cephalic external version), he was stubborn in his ways (just as he is today), and therefore I wasn't given the option to deliver any other way than c-section.
For weeks leading up to Marcus birth I was mentally prepared for his delivery.
At 39 weeks, on the dot, Marcus was born weighing 9 pounds 3 ounces, 21 inches long, healthy and perfect in every way.
I shudder to think just how big Marcus would have been had I waited to have the c-section at 40 weeks, or later...
As soon as I discovered we were pregnant with M² I made it very clear that I desperately wanted to try everything within my ability to have a VBAC. Throughout this pregnancy I've wished, hoped, and prayed that M² would be more cooperative than her big brother and maintain the proper head down position to actually attempt a VBAC. Thus far, M² has obliged, and I couldn't be more thrilled.
If M² doesn't come on her own by this Friday I've scheduled her for a c-section delivery. I will only be 39 weeks along. I can't tell you how many times I've heard from others how I need to wait the full 40, that I should wait until M² is ready, that she will come on her own terms. Both my doctor and I are concerned that should we wait the full 40 weeks (or longer) M² will be too big (neither of us anticipate M2 being a tiny baby) for a successful and safe VBAC.
While I know the odds of another c-section are pretty high at this point, I'm still not quite as emotionally prepared as I was with Marcus. For the past three months I've expected to skip a c-section delivery.
If a c-section is necessary I'd be lying if I said a piece of me isn't disappointed. We've gotten this far in the pregnancy with all the expectations that M² will be delivered the way I've been hoping and praying. If I have to go through with another c-section I can't help but already feel defeated, deflated, and that I've somehow failed.
I had my heart set on a VBAC, and my head isn't quite ready to accept that likely won't be happening.
I've been continually reminding myself that this is not about what others think. This is not about me. This is about bringing M² into this world healthy and safe.
And, I'll be doing that at 39 weeks, and not a day over.
Posted by Desiree Macke