7.23.2015

To the Little Boy Who Stole My Heart

To the little boy who stole my heart and made me a momma:

Dear Marcus, 
For the last three years and four months it's been just you and me. You've been my daily companion, my sidekick, my mini me. You've made my world go round. Even on our most dark and difficult days you have been the one to bring the sunshine. 

As we near the end of this pregnancy, and eagerly await the arrival of your baby sister I can't help be a bit of an emotional train wreck. 
I worry. 

How will you handle this life altering transition? I pray every night that we've made the right decision to grow our family. You are such a bright, sweet, caring, and social little boy. I know in my heart you were not meant to be an only child. We would have done you a serious injustice if you were without at least one sibling. 
Yet, I worry. 

For the last eight months there have been countless nights where I've snuck into your bedroom, stared at your precious, peaceful, sleeping face, and cried. A little piece of my heart breaks knowing that our days as just Marcus and Mommy are numbered. Our time together might not be the same. 
And I worry.

Something tells me you will ease into this new roll as big brother quiet well. Perhaps, even better than I will move into the roll of mommy-of-two. It's pretty amazing how well you adapt to new situations, environments, and people.
But, I worry.

Soon, you won't be my only child, my only baby, my only ray of sunlight. But, you will always be the one who made me a mommy.

Thank you for the most unbelievably marvelous journey. The past three years have been an incredible, crazy, love-filled ride. And I'm so thankful I was able to experience it all with you.

While I realize that soon our time together will be shared know that my love for you never will be divided.

To the little boy who stole my heart and made me a momma...
I love you forever and always.
~Mommy

12 comments:

  1. I have goose bumps all over. Such a beautiful letter to Marcus. It's going to be an amazing day when he can read it someday.

    You're an amazing momma.

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  2. Oh this totally made me tear up! I went through these exact same emotions when I was pregnant with Alyx. Emma was an only child for almost 7 years, and I just didn't know how I was going to handle everything. But it honestly just happens. Everything falls into place, and you make time for both of them. My special time with Emma is as soon as I get Alyx to bed. She and I will stay up for an extra hour or so watching tv, or playing a game or just doing whatever. I have no doubt that Marcus is going to be an amazing big brother!!!

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  3. What a beautiful, beautiful letter! It brought tears to my eyes. You are the best mommy and I know Marcus will always know the love you have for him. He was your first baby, the one who made you a mom and nobody can ever take that away. I know it is scary to think about the future and what will happen but I know Marcus will be an amazing big brother and love his sister to pieces! xo

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  4. Awe, this is seriously so sweet. I felt the exact same way before Avery came along but Jackson did great and I know Marcus will do great too. It somehow just all falls into place.

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  5. Definitely had these same emotions. And when the day came, it was like we were meant to be a family of four. And now, hopefully, it will be like we were meant to be a family of five!! ;) good luck with the remaining weeks!!

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  6. sobbing. at my desk. Gah, so sweet!

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  7. So so so true! Beautifully written, "my love for you will never be divided." That first night holding both your babies in your arms will be better than you ever imagined, and its getting closer to becoming a reality!

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  8. Very sweet! I remember feeling the same way, and I remember crying talking to Hannah while I was in the hospital because I felt so guilty that her entire world was going to change. He will be an awesome big brother, and you will be an awesome mom of 2.

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  9. Love love this! Even though your family dynamic will change, I don't think anything can ever take away the bond you have with your first child. Marcus is going to be such an amazing big brother!

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  10. Such a beautiful letter Desiree.... and now I am crying. There is just something so special thinking about the kid who made you a mommy. Prayers for you all as you transition and soak up these last few days.

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